It’s a weird statement at first. Feeling sad is something that is viewed as a negative emotion in our society, the opposite of happiness and therefore an emotion that is ugly and should be avoided and traded for joy as much as possible. Typically when talking about sadness with others, people recommend ways to detour around feeling’s of depression and sadness with the quickest possible way back to happy feelings and good times. You hear it from all sides. Smile more, wake up enjoying life everyday, be thankful for what you have, don’t dwell on the negatives, always be looking forward, there are so many reasons to be happy, let go of the things that make you feel sad, etc… And I think this is a load of complete, harmful bullshit.
I love feeling sad. Not that I actively seek out sadness in my life or I just want to hurt myself, but I love the kind of sadness that reveals to you what you care about. When I talk about sadness, I don’t mean chronic depression either. I think Sadness is the best feeling we can experience as animals who have emotions and heartbeats. When I am sad I have a connection to the world, I am in touch with myself and others on a level that I forget is there. It lets me to know that there are truly things I care about, there is a reason for me to do what I am doing and to get up out of bed each and every day. It reminds me of what I care about in life in the deepest way possible.
Being happy is the fun. The sun shines, people smile, you feel great, and everything seems to be OK. There’s nothing wrong with being happy, being happy is awesome. But when looking at commercials, talking to people about themselves, their kids, their jobs, there is a social norm that the status quo is to be happy. That is where things go wrong. Our society in general acts as if you are not always happy, your doing something wrong. This attitude leads people to feel there is something wrong with them when they feel lost in life, when they want to cry, when they feel hopeless, when they don’t want to do much. People are told to be normal is to be happy, so when they feel anything but happiness, they go either fake it and feel misunderstood and alone, or they ignore their sadness with dangerous methods involving drugs, alcohol, or obsession. This creates a terrible loop, as the more unhappy they become, the more they feel different and uncomfortable, leading them to further unhappiness in their lives. This is a terrible tragedy. The truth is sadness plays just as important a role in your life as happiness, and ignoring an emotion that imperative to your being will inevitably lead to a broken mind in the form of long term emotional destruction.
While happiness makes life enjoyable and fulfilling, sadness shows you what you care about in life on the deepest level, and can reveal to you problems that require your attention and action. Sadness shows you who you are at the core of your being, showing you where your passion lies, what you care about, what in life makes you upset, and what you see yourself as. Sadness also lets you relate to other people better, giving you a deep connection with others. When you and someone else are sad about the same thing, you know exactly the rush of emotions that person is feeling, and they know what you are feeling. This creates a connection that is deep and relevant to us, feeling understood and understanding others is what makes us feel validated, and that what we care about matters. Even when others are sad and we at first do not feel the same way, we are all human, and through seeing and experiencing sadness through others we can understand those people and who they are better. Sadness is a reminder that we are all existing. It lets ourselves know we still care about out own life.
So feel sad. Cry about the hopelessness of life, the impeding death we will all face, and how time will one day forget us all. Think about the moments in your life that will never happen again, the events in your life that violently changed who you were without your consent, how you will never be able to be a child again or go back to a certain point. Cry, cry, cry, and embrace it all with open arms, for your sadness is a reflection of who you are and what you care about, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
When I’m feeling Sad, when there is something that I find truly heartbreaking, depressing, bitter and dismal, that is when I feel life fiercely, when I vividly feel like a human. Feeling sad makes me remember what I care about in life, in love, in happiness, in friendship Feeling sad reminds me I still want to struggle. It makes me remember that there are things I want to do with my time. It makes me remember I want to find out my weakness’s and improve my strengths. It makes me remember that as much as happiness can rule your life, depression can also Feeling sad makes me feel I am alive.